It has started up again, the thing I longed to never reappear in my life, insomnia. I hate this not being able to sleep, to rest my brain for even the slightest moment. Technically this would be good since I have some stuff to catch up in school but I can’t even concentrate on anything. My computer is acting up, yet again. Stupid Apple people can’t fix it right the first time and I have no time to turn it in to them to get it fixed because I need a computer for my papers and homework. I want to take it in and demand a new one, but not sure if they will grant me my request. Maybe when I go home I can take it in and get it fixed or replaced. The worst part (well maybe not the worst since sleep is a necessity for happiness in my life) is that I am again being eaten alive by whatever insects can make their way through my several layers of clothes to my delicate skin and sip – more like drown themselves – on my delicious blood, any vampire would be jealous.
A lot has happened to me since I last blogged and I would say I haven’t the time to tell, but clearly as I have been awake for 20 hours now and foresee being awake much long I would assume I am just making up excuses not to completely reveal my past year or so that I kept secret from the world. Not like my life was extremely eventful or even worth keeping in the dark, I guess I just never felt it was worth sharing -nor was I taking any creative writing classes to share my works in progress. I am however this year but have yet to be satisfied with what I have written to post, in due time I suppose.
I could ramble on more, if my mind could settle on one thing at a time and actually focus, but I doubt that will happen any time soon. I have a new boyfriend, Anthony, and I couldn’t be happier with him. We met online, people find that to be unconventional but hey it’s better than intoxicated at a bar in my opinion, and texted for a while – not too long before we met in person, but when we did we clicked instantly. Maybe it was because he offered to cook me one delicious breakfast, but I knew he was the one immediately and did everything I could to not screw up this first day together. Looking back I’d say it was the best day, even if we did have to run through campus at 9 o’clock at night and flag down a campus security to gives us a ride to the top of campus just so he could catch his bus home. That day everything was perfect. That was a Thursday, we started dating on Sunday and now 2 plus months later and I am still over the moon with him. I can only imagine how great our future will be.
Because of him, I choose to start living a sober life, maybe even attend a couple AA meeting with him. I wouldn’t say I was ever an alcoholic, although the photos on my facebook may have others disagreeing, but thats another blog in itself, I just want to support him in his sober living and show my parents, mainly my dad, that I do not go out an party all the time. Yes when I was a freshman in college I partied and partied hard, learned the true meaning of a hangover, but after a while it got old, and I got tired of being sick in the morning of feeling like the shots would come right back up before they even made it too my stomach. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wine and will probably never stop drinking it – occasionally – but I am over throwing up in my car, on my bed, on myself because people kick me out of my own bathroom. It’s not fun and it’s not how I want to live the rest of my life. I don’t see living sober to be much of a challenge but hopes it will bring Anthony and I even closer. I know that if I stay sober, he will as well because we support each other, partners for life in everything.
Well it is nearing 7 am and my thoughts continue to race down the highway in my brain not really thinking about one thing, instead trying to understand all of life’s meanings and words of wisdom that have once been spoken. I will bid thee good day and may be back again, sooner than before!
*Side note, my first post back and it just happens to be 150th! Looking forward to the next 150 post!!!
